Turning Failures into Opportunities: Lessons Learned from Adversity

One of things I've cherished the most about growing up in the United States was the overall positive mindset that you could do anything that you set your mind to do. If you work hard enough, you'll get there. It may not be easy. No one said it would be. It's how you recover when you fail which will be telling of whether you'll be successful or not.

I was once watching TV and saw Sarah Blakely, the founder of Spanx, being interviewed. She was driving home the point that failure is not only good, it is essential. If you're not failing, then you're not going for it. You learn more from your failures than you do your successes. Her father would go around the dinner table and ask her and her siblings what happened that day. He would be disappointed if she didn't have a story where she tried something and failed that day. He'd expect her to "do better" the next day. I walked away from that interview wondering why I don't live my life a bit more fearlessly? Have I been playing it a bit too safe?

I can't really say I've failed at my business. After one year, I'm still doing it and I'm not foreclosed. So I'm crushing it as far as I'm concerned. There have been some lessons learned and lessons I'm still learning and trying to execute. It is indeed a process. I'm sure I'll have many of these types of posts.

I have one client and we just do not seem to be on the same wavelength. Right from the start, I got weird vibes and there was superiority aerating.

Client: "Oh, hi. You must be Molly.

Me; "It's actually Nikki. But....:

Client: "Oh, OK. Whatever. We take off our shoes here."

Me: "Oh I was just about to as..." Oh, never mind. Two kitties come up to me curiously. "Cute kitties!".

Client: "Yes, they are Max and Luna.

Me: Oh, clever!

Client: Why?

Me: <blank stare> Never mind <under my breath>.

Client: Max is an old man and Luna is 1 years old. Max needs a pill with his food. They'll need to be fed separately. You'll have to watch them both as Luna will bully Max. Then please spend time with Luna as we just adopted her and we trying to let her know this is her home and everything is fine....." And on and on and on and on. "I figure 15 minute visits will be enough."

This is where I want to take the cigarette out of my mouth, crush it out on the floor with my stiletto as I'm throwing daggers with my stare and yell, "Are you fucking kidding me?!" But then I remember I don't smoke, I can't walk around my historic neighborhood with stilettos (they'd get ruined), and I worry that I'm a bad google review away from possibly going under. But I don't want this client. I can already tell I'm not going to be able to do anything right. I thought the kitties were pretty cute but I thought their mama was a pain in the ass. With 15 minute visits, I'm in and out. There's no giving a kitty a pill and hoping that he takes the pill and waiting around for them to eat to make sure the other one doesn't take the pill instead and still do the rest of the laundry list.

I end up doing the job anyway because I tell myself that I'm reading too much into things and it'll be fine. I end up staying 30 minutes extra because I'm chasing Max around because he doesn't feel like eating his food much less his pill and I'm feeling defeated because I'm not getting the cat his medicine that he needs. This goes on a few more visits. I mention that we need a solid plan for Max to take his pill. Turns out that he's been eating a lot the night before and sometimes gets homemade meatballs and may not be hungry when I get there.

After the fifth visit, and things are not better, I'm done. I mention in the report, "I'm not sure this is a great fit. I know other people that I can recommend. They may be more expensive and they don't do 15 minute visits but they may be able to do a better job than me." She texts me later that day and asks if I have a minute to talk. I'm already thinking the worst. I think about ignoring the text until the next day. I decide that I should get it over with and maybe have my lawyer's number handy just in case. She's going to try to nail me for breach of contract or something that is not even possible but that's what's going through my head. It's a surprisingly a good conversation about how we may have started off on the wrong foot and there must be some misunderstanding and maybe we could start over and that it's her and not me (I knew that). So we do 1 15 minute visit and 30 minute visit and the kitties do not get any extra food the night before I'm coming. I'm still trying to learn and execute this lesson. I'm still not thrilled about going over there.

Lesson #1: Not every client is for you. You don't need the money that badly. You really don't.

Your friends are often your #1 fans and they will love to support you and help you out by giving out your number when someone needs your services. But for the love of all that is good and holy, they need to give out. your business number. Not your personal number. Things will get missed if business stuff ends up on your personal line. It happened to me. It's still my fault. I take 100% accountability. Something didn't get onto my calendar and I didn't show up to a kitty visit. The kitties were fine. They still had food and water and everything was fine. The client wasn't happy with me and I made it right as much as I could. But I still had to go over to my neighbors and they poured me a stiff Bourbon drink as I sobbed on their shoulder.

Lesson #2 Sometimes your friends will be your clients and that's totally OK. But they need to do business on your business line. I can't even believe that I have to say this, but when referring your friend's business, don't give their personal number. Give their business number. There. I said it.

I showed up to one job. I made the boo-boo of not thoroughly reviewing the job beforehand. My friend and her husband were going out-of-town. I noticed a couple of things. They had me only coming over twice a day and for 15 minute visits each. When I showed up, there was a note with the walk mapped out of where Moxy and I were supposed to walk. This walk was about 1 mile long. When I leisurely walk 1 mile by myself, I walk about a 15 minute mile, maybe even slower. Moxie is a 15 year old arthritic dog that likes to stop and sniff a lot. Plus Miss Moxie needed to get fed and be given medicine. So I sent Julie, her mama, a message. "First of all, I have a policy, doggies need to be seen at least 3 times a day. It's for their socialization as well as they may have all four legs crossed. Just because they can hold it, doesn't mean they should. Also, I saw your note, I don't think Moxie and I are going to be able to do the route you mapped out plus food and give Bella her medicine in 15 minutes? Julie responded, "You're right. It's not enough. She'll need 3 visits a day, 30 minutes each." "OK, I'll send you the invoice." OK. That was easy. I'd like to think people aren't trying to take advantage but they just need to shown how unreasonable they are being.

Lesson #3 Call people out when they're being unreasonable.

I have some clients that pack up and go out West every Summer. They airBnb their house and I come by once a week and take care of their goldfish pond. It's so much fun. Last summer, the goldfish had babies and I got to watch them grow up. By the end of the Summer, when I had to stick my hands in the pond to clean the filter, they hardly flinched. I said to Alexa, their mama, "I know this sounds crazy, but I think they know me." She said, "A lot of them grew up with you. They definitely know you." I was so happy when I was able to do the same again this summer.

Everything was going swimmingly until one day I arrived and I shrieked. The filtered was turned off and the pond was probably 1/3 of the way down. I called Alexa and David. I got David on the phone. In tears, "The filter isn't on! I don't know how long it's been off. The water is low."

"Oh, uh, whoops. Yeah, some tenants had some troubles with a breaker and I told them to flip a switch and I didn't realize it would affect the filter. Can you reset the outlet?"

"I've pressed the reset button several times. It does nothing. Where is the fuse box?"

Cut to me finding the fuse box but I can't open it, I can't figure out where the problem exactly lies so I go home and get an extension cord and plug the filter into an outlet that I know works. But then I see a goldfish float up to surface. My heart sinks.

I call again. I get Alexa on the phone. I'm in tears.

"One of the goldfish died."

"Did you get the fuse box open?"

"No, I got an extension cord."

"Did you go and buy one. Invoice me."

"No, I brought it from home. I just told. you a goldfish died and you're going on about the extension cord. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Nikki, the woman across the street makes great space cakes and gummies. You should get some."

"Now?"

"Why not?"

"Because it's 9:30 a.m. and I have other things to do. Plus, the bar is already set so low for people in my business. All they want is someone to show up and not be strung out on something. High is fine but not strung out." I'm still crying.

"Nikki.......Nikki.......Nikki."

"What?"

"It's not your fault the goldfish died. It ours. We screwed up."

I sniffled and collected my thoughts.

"First of all, thank you for saying that. Second of all, I wish you would've opened with that......"

"Oh, for crying out loud, you're mad at me at the order of how...."

"Yeah, you had me contemplating doing questionable things at 9:30 am when you could've been making me feel better. So third of all, let's not normalize me getting fucked up at 9:30 a.m. Fourth of all, I love how weird you are."

"She really does have great space cakes."

"Noted."

Lesson #4 You really need to keep your sense of humor.

Lesson #5 Give yourself grace when you screw up. You will screw up.